black_rose_620

i finally got released from Horsham Clinic, im going back to school on Monday, i miss the artsy son of a place. and of course my friends.
..pleasant nightmarezz monsterzz..
--Victoria----->

happy birthday to me!
i had a good day. My aunt came over and gave me a card. My mom got me this cool charm bracelet, she got me 3 charms: softball, cross, and 16th bd. o0o then i went to Tom's house. I got this AWESOME Grimm's Fairy Tales from him, and i got $20 from his parents which was nice of them. I didn't get my permit because my mom called and they said we have to get a doctor to sign some stupid form.
Tomorrow i go to Horsham Clinic at 10:00 am to get an evaluation :( i hope they don't keep me there, i wanna come home everyday, i don't even wana go to the partial program. help me.... i miss some people at Tinicum :( i wonder when i'll be allowed back.. i was starting to like my classes..
but no
they screw everything up.
o well.

ahh. Went to a concert which was AWESOME last night, came home around 11:30. Went to the ER because of pain, treated me like shit. Tomorrow im getting my permit and going over Tom's.
I'll be listing something tomorrow.

Today i woke up around 7:50, got to work at 8:30. Worked till 11, came home, and called Luke. We are going to a concert tomorrow night with Showbread, Forever Changed, El Toro, Overise, and two others i forget; should be nice. I have to be back to work at 5. Tuesday is my birthday, I'm also gona get my permit and go over Tom's house then.

this may be a long entry for me.
I'm suspended....
the reason-- there is none really.
-My Side of the Story-
WARNING: This may get confusing.

Okay, so this guy, Adam, has liked me ever since i started going to TAS (my school). Well i have a boyfriend and i let him know that right away. Throughout the weeks he still treated me like i was single, i was disgusted because he is so rudely annoying. Especially when we were at the rennaissance fair, ew, he kept calling me "me lady". I know that he wasn't just trying to be a kind friend, he would never say that to a 'friend'. He also wanted to buy me this feather black rose that i wanted. UGH no... Anyway throughout more of the weeks i've have actually trying to ignore him in a polite way. But obviously he doesn't like being let down. I couldn't really talk to him anymore, because all he would talk about is how he liked me, then the next second he would change his mind and get mad at himself. He has a disorder where he can't think right, he can't get the right words out as to what he's thinking, and he gets mad at basically nothing all the time. He also copies people; like he cut himself and said "it hurt, i'm never gona be stupid like that again". duh its gona hurt if you're not a cutter dumbass. Cutting takes emotional pain away and replaces it with physical, he already has a coping skill which i wont mention because it's non of your buisness really. SO the week that Tom made a mistake with our relationship; the week of being out of school, crying, and just plain depressed...was when it happened. So we were in Civil War class, and Adam mouthed to me "we need to talk". Of course i was overjoyed *cough*. When we got our break (the last period class is always 1h 30m long) i went out to the couch and laid down, i wanted to rest from all that had happened and i was tired. Adam comes out and says "can we talk?" and im like "yeah sit down". he gets real mad and says "i wana talk in private". so I got my lazyass up and went outside and laid down on the grass with my head down listening. Adam starts mumbling and rambling on about shit that he always does, how he is confused and wants me to understand. He thinks a lot of the time that he knows exactly what is going on with me and just knows everything about me in general. He's like "im dissapointed in you". Me-"why?" Adam- "i know why you were out on tuesday and wednsday". Me-"oh, why?? I didn't even tell you what happened". Adam- "i Know what happened, you are mad at me for what i did". Me-"what did you do"? Adam-"you know, when i cut, i know you're upset about it" Me-"um thats not why, why would i be out for that, you dont fucking know what happened, my boyfriend cheated on me" Adam-"I knew that would happen, i knew it, he's no good for you, blah blah blah... etc." Me-"this is great" Adam-" i want you to read my favorite lyrics, there from metallica" Me-"i'm tired, can we talk later?" Adam (shoved the notebook in my face) Me (put my head up far enough to read it and put my head back down) Adam-"What the fuck, you can even fucking read this, you don't ever fucking understand." Me-"I'm just tired OK". Adam-"FUCK THIS" he walked inside the building and i was upset so i walked down to these bushes at the side of the school and put my head in my knees. He somehow followed me and said class was starting and just started yelling at me "You need to fucking go to class, why do you always fucking do this, fuck fuck fuck" its a little bit of a blurr. He went, and i started crying. He came back and started yelling at me again, if i would have looked at him i swore he probably would have had demon eyes, just by the tone of his voice i thought he was going to come over and hit me he was saying "FUCK YOU, FUCK OUR FRIENDSHIP, I WROTE A FUCKING SONG FOR YOU, I HOPE YOU FUCKING DIE" etc. that night i went out with madeline and her mother.
The next day i was in a weird mood, i had locked myself in the bathroom because i started crying (adam had looked at me and it scared me) So i was in a weird mood that day because of ADAM. I had somewhat gotten over it by Monday so me and my friend Sierra were joking around sayin "o lets go kill adam" cuz a lot of us do n0t like him. Next thing i know i listen to the voicemail at home "Hi Trish(mom) this is pete(prinable) umm i need to speak with you tonight its very important" So we had a meeting the next day with me, my mom, pete, and matt. They were saying how i have been moody, and unperdictable and wanted to know what was going on, and why i was cutting. First of all i was cutting but i haven't for a while, its not like i just started again. 2nd what the fuck is he talking about, he said ive been doing horrible in my classs, staying awake and keeping attention?? i do absolutely fine in my class's except for alg2. He said some of these things. "Adam-is a kitten and Tom is a Hyiena...... i think you may need a week in horsham clinic...blah etc. The next day we get another call from him saying somebody told him i threatened Adam with a knife. HAH what BULLSHIT. i have no idea where anybody got that idea, and i'm extremely hurt that people are believing i would do something like that. I'm "suspended" until i go to therapy which won't be till 2 weeks.plus they wana get an evaluation and send me to a fucking institute. Yes Life is Amusing right now. Pray for me if you believe.

Pleasant Nightmarezz

i've been having a very interesting and fustrating week. I was suppose to go to New York City today to see Radio City but both me and my mom were sick :( My birthday is Tuesday, I'm going over Toms house for a couple of hours.